Writing & Editing with ADHD

Today I’d like to talk about something more on the personal side.

About two years ago now, I (as I suspect is true for many of us as a result of the pandemic) was diagnosed with ADHD. I’ve been learning a lot since that time, and I have this feeling that I’m catching up now with perhaps where I should have been all along. Of course, I guess that’s the case when you find out a lot of your challenges have an actual, demonstrable root cause that’s actually been with you your whole life. But even if it was a mystery for a long time, it still had a profound impact on me, including with my writing practice and work as an editor.

I was the kind of kid who did really well in elementary school. I was quiet and well behaved, but I was also engaged and ready to answer questions. I did also tend to daydream a fair bit, and I sometimes had difficulty realizing when people were addressing me, but a lot of that was probably attributed to the fact that I was kind of an artsy, creative kid.

I’m sure a lot of folks who have been diagnosed later in life can relate. I didn’t present the way we were always told ADHD did. Maybe it was due to an overall pressure to mask or adapt certain behaviours, or maybe it was my own unconscious framework for managing symptoms I didn’t know were symptoms.

Regardless of that, I will say that in hindsight, things got a bit more obvious in high school. Especially with math. I was never the fastest at arithmetic as a kid, but I could still get there eventually. As soon as we started to look into more abstract concepts, I struggled, possibly for the first time in my academic career. I wasn’t used to failing at something when I tried it in earnest. I’ve since come to the conclusion that I likely have an actual math learning disability—dyscalculia—but at the time, I was usually considered a gifted student and I’d never experienced anything like this before.

Wonders for my self-esteem, it did not do. However, I am grateful in that it pushed me to excel in other areas of academia, like reading and writing, which I figure I’ve loved since I was practically out of the womb. I took all of the classes possible where I could read literature, digest it and then even write my own stories. I had all the patience in the world for it—which might actually be a combination of real interest and passion plus hyperfixation. Whatever the case may be, English language has been the most constant interest I’ve ever held.

I also tried my hand at writing more seriously around this time. I was dedicated to it. So much so that I’d sit in the library every morning before school to do it. It wasn’t immediately gratifying, and there were stumbling blocks. I remember a lot of my first attempts at writing scenes for a story resulted in me rewriting the pages over and over again simply because I didn’t like the look of the words on the page. It had nothing to do with how well they went together; I mean how my handwriting appeared on the paper in front of me prompted me to rewrite.

For that particular problem at that particular time, I figured out that writing on the computer allowed me to write without worrying about the tidiness of what was in front of me. I’m not sure how many folks out there can relate to this precise experience, or how many might find the approach I took helpful, but it got me past that particular hurdle. And what I’ve found works best for managing my ADHD more than nailing down one particular system is the willingness to experiment and adapt over time. Case in point: since then, I’ve found that I actually do prefer writing my first drafts by hand. It just took a little adjusting.

Speaking of, I truly believe something else that allowed me to develop a writing practice was to embrace my own voice and process. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that things will never be perfect. Even as an editor—or perhaps especially as one—I can assure you that perfection is highly subjective and, truthfully, a myth. Realizing this has been a process in and of itself, but it’s been a freeing one. I’ve been able to give myself the room to try things out and find out what makes my voice unique.

Considering I’m an editor, it’s probably obvious that I have a decent critical eye. It just so happened that it was especially focused at first on what I perceived to be my own shortcomings. My ADHD has a tendency to show up this way especially in social situations, but it can make for a particularly harsh inner critic. Ultimately I do think this sense is what kicked off my journey to becoming an editor, but wrangling and honing that critical eye and the (sometimes helpful, sometimes not) voice that accompanies can be hard work.

Nowadays, part of why I think I’m a good editor is that I’ve been able to find balance when it comes to my criticism. As an editor, you need to be a cheerleader as well as a critic, which goes doubly for those with book coaching practices. When you have ADHD, it can be even easier to get discouraged (like in my initial high school math classes), so it’s especially important that I be my own cheerleader first and foremost. Doing so has allowed me to flourish creatively.

Something else that’s helped me in creative spaces is having a social contract. I often talk about this concept: that being around other people doing similar things as you or meeting specifically to talk about your progress can make achieving your goals more likely. It’s true, certainly at least for me; I know a few other folks who would agree. For me, it means I’ve found my own support community when it comes to writing. Even just body doubling—sitting down to work together on different projects—does wonders to maintain my writing routine. Beyond that, talking with other people who are also passionate about writing has been a wonderful experience and a privilege. When it comes to editing, seeing that passion in others is what fuels me.

I don’t know that I would have gotten here if it hadn’t been for my ADHD. It’s possible I would have done the myriad of other things I’ve been interested in over the years, but I would have regretted not writing. So, though I’ve certainly faced challenges because of my ADHD, I’ve also come to appreciate what it has done for me. It pushed me to try things out and to find something that I would love to do my whole life long.

It’s my goal to foster that same passion and determination in other writers. No matter what challenges you face in your life, there’s always room for support and encouragement.